Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Obsessive vs. Enthusiastic

Posted by Jennifer B. at The Writing Cocoon.

I know I wrote something in an earlier blog post about pacing myself so that my writing would stay easy and flowing.  It sounded so wise at the time. Fast forward a few days, and I’ve thrown that idea out with the bathwater. Unfortunately, this isn’t a new theme with me, which is why I made the pacing comment in the first place.

The last few weeks, I’ve been feeling better than I have in a long time. I’ve had energy and stamina, felt the creativity returning. I decided to jump into this whole blogging thing, to stop putting it off, waiting for the perfect time to begin. Then I opened up my novel document and started writing, at first a few hundred words, now I’m writing all afternoon. On top of that, I’ve stepped up my research again: reading and searching new blogs and sites, my Kindle is full, and I’m spending the whole morning reading and studying. Two days in a row I forgot to eat during the day. I barely came up for air.

Yesterday was the most productive day I’ve had since I started writing seven months ago. I wrote an entire thirty-seven hundred word short story, added twelve hundred words to my novel, and wrote three blog post drafts. By the end of the day, my fingers felt shriveled and weak, my legs and back were stiff, and I had a massive eye-strain headache. I was pleased with my work, but feeling a bit high strung. After asking my poor husband to review my new short story (“READ it, read it now!” - I think those were my exact words), I drank a half bottle of wine and promptly went to sleep. I think I may need some balance in my day.

I’d like to think this illustrates my boundless enthusiasm, my deep passion for my work. I’m afraid that all it really shows is that I don’t know how to do anything a step at a time. It’s only been two weeks since I’ve returned to my writing; I don’t want to burn out. When I get like this, it often mirrors a bad sugar binge. It tastes so sweet going down, but you know it ends with you shaking and sweating on the bathroom floor. Mmm…it also mirrors a manic-depressive cycle.

I’m not sure: am I enthusiastic or am I obsessive?

No comments:

Post a Comment